Nowadays, many of us run a busy and full life. Multi-tasking has become a way of life, a way of doing things, a way we work. However, if you want to have some peace and calm for yourself, not to mention spending quality time with your child or your partner, you might want to learn how not to multi-task when you’re with your loved ones.
Instead of investigating scientific studies or theoretical facts to support the idea of this article, let’s just look at this simply from the perspectives of the people involved. Let’s make it very simple and just take an example in which there’s only you and your child.
Let’s start with you. As complex as you and your circumstances are, let’s make it simple for the sake of this discussion. We’re assuming that you want to give your best to your child, you are a responsible parent, you are a responsible person in most things you do, and you want to do all those things you multi-task well. And, let’s make the case even simpler by assuming that you are highly efficient and effective in most things you do. All these good qualities are probably giving you some confidence that you can or should multi-task.
But, when you multi-task, you miss out on having a real connection with your child. Your body is with your child, however your mind and your attention might be wandering trying to complete your tasks or fix things that come up while you’re multi-tasking. And, the real kicker is your child feels it. Yes, you might want to believe that your child might not notice that your attention is not fully with him/her, however your child feels it. And, you know it too. You know that your child feels it. This is the main reason why you always do not feel peaceful when you’re multi-tasking while you’re with your child. You feel rushed. You feel pressured to complete your tasks. You might even feel guilty of not giving your child your full attention.
Why put yourself through all this chaotic non-peaceful inner conflict?
You really don’t have to.
Instead, you must believe that you can prioritize your time and your tasks so that when you’re with your child, you really spend quality time together. It can be done. If multi-tasking has been a habit of yours, it might take some time before you form new habits and mindset of adopting this way of doing things and being with your child or your loved ones. If an emergency task pops up once in a while and you need to take care of it, then it’s okay, however don’t make it a habit to multi-task when you’re with your child. Contrary to popular belief, there are scientific studies that show that multi-tasking is actually not an effective way to work, however let’s not get into that discussion in this article.
Now, from the perspective of your child. Actually, it’s quite simple. A child always wants the love, attention, care, and support from the parent. Until of course something happens that makes the child choose otherwise. That something could be you directly or indirectly neglecting your child, not giving your full attention, or even disappointing your child in ways that you don’t even realize. It is my belief, coming from personal experience, that children are very forgiving to their parents, especially parents who really want to love them.
So, it’s never too late. Whether you made the mistake before of not giving your child your full attention for whatever reason, do not worry, just make a decision now going forward to not make multi-tasking a habit when you’re with your child. Start being fully present with your child with all your attention and your heart, and spending high quality time with your child. Your child will appreciate this. Most importantly, you will appreciate this.